I shared with you guys last month the super exciting news that after three WONDERFUL little boys that we would finally be welcoming a little girl into our family! Hearing that news was one of the happiest moments of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my boys and would never change them for anything in the world, but I have always wanted a little girl of my own.
I went home still half in shock, and it took me two or three days to get a grip on the idea that I was actually going to get my little girl. I’ve even been tempted to ask my Dr to do another Ultrasound just to be sure it really was a girl! Once the reality set in that it was a reality that is when my problems all started. I started to get strange pains in my pelvis that would come and go in different areas. I would get horrible bouts of anxiety, sometimes to the point where I just couldn’t control my emotions any longer, and it got difficult to function.
With three other kids in the house there are days that I find myself going non-stop all day long! It would get to be 3:00 or so and I would finally get the time to settle down a little bit and think to myself “I haven’t felt the baby move all day”. The rational side of me would tell me that I’ve just been busy and everything is fine, but the emotionally pregnant side of me would have be convinced that there was something wrong and send me on a spiral for the rest of the day. Now if my rational side won out I would try and calm my day a little and as soon as I felt her move I would feel some relief that everything was fine. If the emotional side took hold there wasn’t much that could bring me back down. I would literally lay on the couch until I felt baby girl moving A LOT before I finally started to calm down.
The bigger problem to me was that my anxiety didn’t end with the babies well being. This pregnancy has done a number on my hormones. To the point where I feel every day like a teenage boy! My Sex drive is on OVERDRIVE. And while any other time of my life my husband would probably love this, during pregnancy (especially this one, but that is another story all together) he tends to get a little more, shall we say, cautious. Which honestly just hasn’t been cutting it for me! Its not necessarily that I need sexual contact, its more about just a physical connection, even if it doesn’t involve sex. And unfortunately my anxiety and emotions have taken hold of that too! If my husband comes home from work at night and I don’t get the kiss I think I should get, I go into another emotional tail spin. I will literally cry over a kiss! Its not like I didn’t get kissed, I just didn’t get the kiss I thought I should get.
I had my monthly check up this week, and spoke with my Doctor about all of the issues that I have been having. While it felt good to talk about it with someone who understands the kind of things I am going through, she was able to suggest a few things that might help me get through the rest of this pregnancy. Her first suggestion was counselling which while I think would definitely help me, it just isn’t financially possible right now. She also suggested the possibility of going on medication for the remainder of the pregnancy. While I am NOT a fan of taking meds in general, especially when pregnant, I need to spend some time weighing the advantages and disadvantages of the two options. Do I really need this additional help or can I push myself through the rest of this pregnancy? Will it just get worse after the baby comes if I don’t do something to control it now?
On a more positive note, baby is doing great. We are measuring at 25 weeks and heartbeat is nice and strong at 159 bpm!
Have you ever dealt with anxiety during pregnancy? What did you find worked the best for you? How did you get through it?